I have to write

There’s an entire universe inside of me. I have so many thoughts and so many dreams. I admire so much. Music, art, film, but most of all I admire people. Every time I look at someone, and watch them speak and how their hands move with every expression, the little pop their upper lip does on the right side when they say a certain word. I want to hear every story. There’s just so much inside of people. So much beauty, so much knowledge, so much life. What is this life? I want to touch it. I want to grasp at it, feel it on the tips of my fingers. I’m afraid I will miss it. The point of it all, or miss the opportunity of making the most of it. I stay up sometimes, like I’m keeping watch over a city, and if I blink she’ll pass me by and it’ll be all over. I don’t know how to make the most of this, I don’t know how to absorb everything that I can, while still leaving traces of me behind. There are days that I feel like a madwoman in this studio, in my own mind, just trying to make sense of it all. I can’t miss it. Whatever it is. What are you? I have to write, because I feel like that’s when you will talk back to me. I have to tell you that I want you. I need to create, to get out and see the trees, this burning urge to slather paint on a canvas like its going to release the air in my lungs. I have to hear every song to make sure that they each light something up inside of me, like each one is little twinkle light in the string of lights in my body and if I miss one then the rest of the lights wont turn on. They all need to light up. That’s why I have to write.